For those who don’t already know, my Little C turns four next month. Unlike other ages so far, I am really having a hard time with the big 4! Perhaps it is because her communication is becoming so grown up and more elaborate. Maybe it is because we are contemplating testing her early for kindergarten; which means that quite possibly in less than a year I will no longer be able to rush and get her at noon each day. Whatever the case may be, my baby is very quickly growing at a much faster pace than I ever envisioned. It’s truly one of those things that people can tell you a million times but you don’t know until you are witnessing it yourself. Anyways, as we approach the year mark that Caroline has been weaned from breastfeeding, I wanted to talk with you about my experiences with extended nursing. These experiences include lots of trials, errors, stress and a heck of a lot of LOVE!
Leading up to Caroline’s arrival I knew I was going to nurse her but never thought much about it. I was armed with your typical breast pump, breast pads and breast cream. I was given some advise from a family member such as take a wash cloth to your breast vigorously in the weeks leading up to delivery to “toughen” them up. However, I don’t recall a ton of advise in your standard baby books nor did I Google a thing about breastfeeding. I am not really sure why as it was something I knew I was going to do. You hear a lot of conflicting time frames such as the first six months are ideal, the first year is better and anything after two is irrelevant. ‘One day at a time’ was my mantra from day one. Six months came and went, a year came in went and even Caroline’s second birthday came and went all while still nursing and holding firm to ‘one day at a time’.
After Caroline was born I clearly remember my midwife suggesting I stay an extra night in the hospital so that breastfeeding specialists could help me with any questions I may have had. I will never forget pushing the buzzer and asking the nurse why my baby hadn’t woken up to eat. “She will soon enough honey, she is fine, now get some rest” was the words relayed back to me. Hindsight is 20/20…if only I knew of the long nights ahead. I remember having to work with Caroline a bit on her latch but she mastered that in no time. The pros taught me the typical 15 minutes on one side, 15 minutes on the other. They taught me various holding positions and gave me the ideal feeding schedule. They were nice, informative and very supportive. However, the standards didn’t work well for us so we found what did. For example, the right breast was THE breast from day one. She would nurse longer and much more comfortably on that one side.
I was fortunate enough to never get mestasis, I hear that is straight from you know where and you bet I feared the pain. What nobody warned me about was the fact that every time a baby latches to nurse following delivery, the uterus contracts. This pain was so horrendous that it landed me in the ER at 4am on Thanksgiving morning with a seven day old baby and a confused husband in tow. Mama’s be warned….when you feel this pain you are not in labor again, your body is simply doing what it is supposed to be doing.
Caroline was never the type to nurse under a cover. This made things difficult out in public but as modest as I am, I never got embarrassed nursing. I have however made others embarrassed while I nursed but never ever on purpose. For example, the poor state trooper I had blushing on the side of the road after he stopped to see if we were o.k. only to find Caroline guzzling away. I have nursed many times in the car and in restaurants. Thankfully nobody was rude or put out by us. I seriously don’t know how I would react to such rudeness that some mother’s endure while nursing in public.
In the early months, I was still dealing with my skin cancer issues which resulted in a lot of trips to various doctors. Each appointment resulted in an extra ten minutes or so of us camped out in the exam room nursing. This brings me to my next piece of advise, whatever it is worth. They say not to introduce the bottle for a certain period of time to eliminate possible confusion. Because Caroline would solely be with me for the first couple years, I wasn’t concerned with the bottle. However, at 7 weeks old I had surgery and radioactive dye which meant I had to pump and dump for a solid 48 hours. Those 48 hours were pure hell on Caroline and all that had to care for her. Looking back, if we had found a bottle that worked things would have been simpler on several occasions. However, we clearly managed without a bottle or pacifier.
For me, nursing helped aid in post-partum weight loss. With very little effort I was back to pre-pregnacy weight rather quickly and credit that solely to nursing. Fast forward to the past 12 months that we have been free of nursing and the weight is so dang hard to take off!
Nursing provided an amazing bond for Caroline and I. It was the cure all for whatever troubled her. Each trip to the doctor ended in a nursing session, any boo-boo was fixed with nursing and so on. It was almost magical. In addition to nursing she would hold my hair. This is something that she still does to this day while we cuddle and I treasure every moment. I shutter at the fact that one day soon she will be a teenager and want to avoid me like the plague.
Somewhere around the two year mark I started hearing comments such as “when are you going to stop nursing?” and “she is going to go to college on the breast”. Some days I was offended by such comments while other days I brushed them off. In reality, I think it was awkward for people to see a child who could walk, talk and whom was potty trained to latch on to what society has over sexualized. I was even told by a friend that Caroline’s pediatrician didn’t support breastfeeding after a year and a half, so guess what? I went to her two year well-checked scared to death of getting the fifth degree. Thankfully it was never brought up, she assumed she was weaned and we left it at that. She still to this day does not know and I am o.k. with that.
Admittedly, around the two and a half year mark I started to get worried. I knew she wouldn’t go to college on the breast but I was beginning to think grade school was not an over exaggeration. I tried a couple of times to wean her but she wouldn’t have it. I didn’t push but if she had weaned herself I wouldn’t have minded. Of course I didn’t have the kid that just woke up and quit it cold turkey. It was a struggle and one we had to work through together with a reward chart and lots of prayer! It went much better than I had planned which makes me wonder if she wasn’t truly ready. Caroline had a couple nights of crying because her comfort and habit if you will was taken away. I too had a few rough nights of extremely full and sore breasts that throbbed in agony each time she would cry. It was not fun but avoiding sore breasts while waiting on milk to dry up is virtually impossible. Cold cabbage leaves truly work wonders (just don’t forget to replace every couple hours unless you like the smell of hot cabbage). Caroline was completely weaned five weeks before her 3rd birthday.
In the past 12 months my baby has grown up so much. She started pre-school the day after she turned three and has really come out of her shell. She has scored beyond her age in various areas which I partially credit to being a breast baby. She was able to go on her very first sleep over with my mom since she was weaned and loved it! She is much more comfortable around strangers and doesn’t panic when I am out of her sight. She still calls my breasts “milks” but giggles and looks at me like I am crazy when I tell her she used to drink from them. Her comfort is still my hair but as I mentioned before, I certainly don’t mine! Looking back, I feel incredibly blessed that I was able to nurse so long and with much ease. I am forever grateful that I had a job that allowed and continues to allow me to have her with me daily. Finally, I am thankful for an amazing husband who never once discouraged but rather encouraged the nursing bond between our daughter and I right up to the last day.
If you stuck it out and read this super long and at times rambling post, thank you. Breastfeeding is not for everybody for various reasons and that is O.K. Who am I to judge? If you are considering breastfeeding I say go for it! ‘One day at at time’ will take you to where you and your precious little one are meant to be, be it a couple weeks or a couple of years! If I had it to all over again I absolutely would. For those who have already been there, what advise would you give new mom’s where nursing is concerned? Would you do it again?
~Erica~
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